I shouldn’t be doing anything but studying right now but after 5-hours, I’ve decided I need a break. Turns out, nursing school is an ass kicking. The memes are all true, it truly is the torture everyone has always made it out to be. Who knew?
I start the semester from hell on Monday so I thought it would be a good idea to try and get the house in order for Brandon before he starts his single-parenting duties until June 1. I finished scrubbing (most of the) tiny hand prints off of the walls, doors, windows, refrigerator and counter-tops before moving on to the playroom. Before I took even a second step into the room, I slowly backed up, turned around and quietly shut the door as if pretending that it’s not there will actually make it go away. Oh, how I wish it would. Toys are littered all over the floor to the point where you cannot walk through and truthfully, just burning the house down may be easier to deal with. This doesn’t even take into consideration the floor-to-ceiling boxes of kid-nonsense we have in the basement.
I get it. Having kids is messy and this is what I signed up for when I decided to have two kids (lol get it? because I didn’t mean to do this?) HOWEVER. This doesn’t mean that they should have so many toys that we don’t even know what they have anymore. This doesn’t mean they should have 4-5 of the same exact car that oh look, they are getting again today. Why don’t I just throw it out or donate it, you ask? Because it doesn’t stop coming in the house.
Listen. I don’t mean to come across as bitchy or ungrateful. I have so many people who love my kids and want them to have everything under the sun and for that, I am SO grateful. But, our house is like, solid 3 sq ft and they already have whatever truck, car, (and at this point), book that you’re thinking of getting them. Trust me. You know what they don’t have? College tuition. While it may sound over-the-top for 3 year olds, they will be grateful as hell when they are 18 and realized that you’ve been putting in money to their accounts over the years because their mom had to go back to school and missed a few years of substantial savings for them. They won’t remember how you didn’t get them a toy car on that random Saturday you saw them.
They need memories. Memberships to parks and museums (not the aquarium because I still have PTSD). or registration for a toddler swim or activity class will not only add to their development but it also gets us out of the house, burning energy and usually makes everyone a lot happier at the end of the day. You know what doesn’t make me happy? Having to break up a fight over one toy that yes, we do have two of, but they both want that one.
They need face time. I mean that in the iphone and literal sense. A couple of hours or minutes of your time is more valuable to them than a present to unwrap at this stage in the game. They have quite a few favorites and I can promise you it’s not because those people are showing up with a present every time. The boys send my brother a snap chat everyday and I’ve busted through many temper tantrums by just saying “hey, let’s send Uncle Reece a video!” The reality is, if you get into the habit of showing up with a present every time they see you, guess what they will associate you with? That’s called raising spoiled brats and I’m not here for it.
I get that it’s inevitable on Christmas and their birthday and I’ll never turn down a box of hand-me-downs to go through and I’m more than ok with those things but showing up with presents every.single.time we see you is going to get you put on to the ‘do not allow’ list, so quickly. I’m saying this for your benefit too because truthfully, you’re wasting your own hard-earned money and time to get them these things that I’m putting in the box with “DONATION” on the side.
And if this isn’t coming across bitchy to you yet, hang on, I’m still going. I’ve had some people make some snide remarks about how weird it is that I can get my kids stuff but no one else can. Look, I’m buying them stuff so they stay out of my face, you’re buying them stuff to try to win them over. There’s a difference. And growing up, I was always told “what mom says, goes” and this mom says ‘enough’! At the end of the day, I know I’m not going to change anyone and I’ll continue to donate to kids who are less fortunate than my kids with the things people continue to bring them.
I guess the lesson here is no more cleaning for me. This frustration never would have bubbled up if I didn’t attempt to clean, damn it!
Wish me luck …