Being a mom (or dad) is no joke. Behind the pictures of the smiling kids, the fun family adventures and videos of baby giggles is a mom or dad on the brink of losing their shit, desperate to capture ONE shining moment from within their messy, tantrum and stinky diaper filled life. Maybe that seems dramatic or maybe it’s just my house but either way, I make sure to like all of the pictures that parents put up of their baby/babies just in case they need that extra boost that day to say ‘you’re doing it mom, look at that baby smile!’
If you’ve read this blog, even for 5 minutes, you know that I don’t hide the fact that this parenting stuff is WAY harder than I ever could have imagined. I don’t know what the hell I thought taking care of a helpless human being would be like, but this was not it. Times two.
The past 13 months (plus one week) (plus my whole pregnancy) have been some of the hardest times of my life. On the flip side, it’s also been the best.
How do you explain parenting to someone who isn’t a parent yet? When my friends say they want babies, I instantly jump to “DON’T FKING DO IT! ENJOY YOUR LIFE WHILE YOU STILL HAVE ONE”.
98% of my day is chaos. Pure chaos. The other 2% of my day is when I’m sleeping. Outside of Brandon and I running around chaotically in the morning (and that’s when we plan ahead the night before) and getting the kids to daycare before work. Outside of making sure we are able to pick them up on time (daycare is only open from 7a-6p which, doesn’t leave a whole lot of room for error on getting to and from work) and outside of never sitting down, the nights/weekends typically go like this.
“Don’t hit your brother, let’s play with this toy, don’t take out the electrical socket thing to stick your finger in it, don’t drown in the dog water bowl, don’t put that in your mouth, stop hitting your brother with that, you can’t eat that, ok let’s eat, oh you don’t want beef? Let me make you chicken nuggets, don’t throw your chicken nuggets on the ground, oh you’re hoarding chicken nuggets in your diaper?, let’s take a bath, don’t hit your brother, don’t drown your brother, don’t pull that or you’ll hurt yourself, don’t DROWN YOUR BROTHER, here’s another toy, oh you don’t want to get a new diaper on? stop fighting me I need to get your jams on, OH MY GOD BRANDON THEY ARE GIGGLING TAKE A PICTURE!”
And even then, I’m not accurately depicting how many times we are having to save one kid from killing themselves while the other is on the move to do the same and totally forgetting about the 3 dogs we are also in charge of.
So, right after I tell people not to have kids because it’s a death sentence and it literally sucks the life out of you, I instantly start talking about how amazing it is. Yes, I love Brandon and my family (and my DOGS!) but did I ever REALLY know what love was before these tiny babies came into my life? It’s such an intense feeling that the English language doesn’t have words to describe it, I know because I’ve tried to find them. There is not a bad day in the world that can’t be cured by watching Luke tickle Carter and them giggling over it. Seeing them at the end of the day MAKES my day feel worth it, no matter how shitty it was. These babes have motivated me to be a better mom and person just so I can give them the best of everything. They’ve made me start working on a better version of me.
Turns out, I’m not the only one who feels this way. Studies show that people who have kids show to be less happy than their counterparts who don’t have kids but they ALSO say they wouldn’t change it. The average number of kids per family is 2.4 kids so, there must be something worth doing it a couple of times? So, what you’re saying is, it is ACTUALLY making you LESS happy but it’s worth it? Hmmm….
I guess parenting is just one of those things you have to experience for yourself. No matter what you’re told or how many books you read, nothing will prepare you for the exhausting, worst, best time of your life.
Nothing will prepare you for the exhaustion you feel, the sleep you will lose (average of 44 days in first year and that’s if your kid is a good sleeper or you only have one), the frustration you will feel, how to overcome feeling like a failure or how to manage some resemblance of yourself throughout all of it but one thing is also for sure, nothing will prepare you for the LOVE you feel and maybe. Just maybe!.. that makes it all worth it.
(Side note: IF you would like to try it out, feel free to let me know, I know a mom and dad of twin toddlers who are ALWAYS looking for a reason to go out… )