“I can’t believe you’re a mom”, I hear people say as they stare at the smiling monsters that I grew with my own body. They typically don’t say it in the way you may be thinking; the type of way that with hearts in their eyes, they say it because they are in shock and awe of the wondrous beings I have created and the amazing journey I have started on. They say it in the type of way that I imagine a woman getting picked up for a date in a smart car would say it.. as in”Really? YOU’RE in charge of TWO LIVES now???”
Listen, most days I can’t believe it either. I wouldn’t say I was a wild child but I would definitely say I had wild child tendencies. Let’s just say that when I was at WVU, I had fun and I’m hoping everyone forget the stories by the time my boys are old enough to hear them.
Then, I wore dresses that were often mistaken for shirts (to show off my swimmer bod) and heels that would make my feet hurt for days after a night of dancing. Now, you probably won’t find me in something other than under armour pants, an oversized jacket (to hide my mom bod) and sneakers with good support because holding babies makes your back hurt.
Then, I drank too much and usually wasn’t asleep before 2am on a Saturday night. Now, one glass of wine nearly does me in and I get cranky if I’m not in bed scrolling through pinterest by 9pm.
Then, I had very little responsibility other than to swim, study and make sure I paid my 4 bills on time. Now, there’s 3 jobs, 2 babies, 3 pups, a husband, a mortgage, utilities, cars, insurance, phone, dishes to wash, rooms to clean, blah blah blah.
Then, my biggest worries included things like making sure I woke up from my nap in time to make sure I had time to do my hair before we went out. Now, what don’t I worry about?
I guess it’s a good sign that I’m not 28 and reckless as hell. It’s ‘good’ that I have bigger and better things to worry about but sometimes, I do miss the days of no cares because, really, I had NO cares. If ‘the old Kayla’ could see the older Kayla, I’m not sure she would even believe this is where we are but for that, I’m thankful. I’m thankful that I got to have a LOT of fun but even more thankful for the mornings now where I’m waking up to baby smiles instead of a handful of advil and two bottles of water.
It’s hard to believe that the chick who wasn’t even sure she wanted kids, who just wanted to go out and have fun, is now covered in babies and their bodily fluids on a regular basis and sometimes, doesn’t even mind it. I love looking back on memories of the ‘wild days’ and laughing (only because we survived) but I really love looking forward to the future and all of the things that are going to come with that as well.
Is anyone even believing that I’m the one writing this right now?… I clearly had a wonderful little morning with my babies. They decided to be sweet, snuggle muffins instead of the immobile terrorists that they usually are so I’m feeling extra in love with them and life. We will see how I feel after next week, when daycare is only open 1/2 of the week..#momprobs, am I right?
Wish me luck..