Sept 21, 2015

Sept 19, 2015: We had just gotten back from a trip to Atlanta which I had practically ruined because I was not handling my morning sickness well. Morning sickness is a funny name considering it doesn’t just last in the morning. Mine lasted for about 35 weeks, almost straight. I had pretty bad cramping, bleeding and the nausea was almost unbearable sometimes. We had planned the trip prior to finding out I was pregnant and decided to try to make the best of it while we had the time. With a baby on the way, we knew it would be the last fun we could have for a while. Little did we know it would NOT be fun. That 7 week old embryo was kicking my ass and hard. Well, we were estimating it to be 7 weeks. My blood work numbers had come back really high for 7 weeks, so we were unsure at the moment where I was. My pregnancy test had also screamed + at me within seconds so who really knew, I was somewhere between 7-9 weeks. I was already looking forward to feeling like myself again (LOL) so I was hoping I was 9 weeks and therefore, closer to my due date.

I could barely look at food unless it was blueberry waffles, bagels or the good lemonade (like ChikFilA has). I just wanted to lie in bed and sleep all day so that I didn’t have to be awake, feeling like I would vom at any second.

I called my Dr. while we were on the trip because something didn’t feel right (come to find out, that’s what being pregnant would be for me). They set up an ultra sound for Monday, the 21st to check it out. Meanwhile, I was sending Aunt/Nurse Brittany a picture of everything coming out of me (you’re welcome) for her to tell me if it was normal or not. Everything was looking ok but something felt really off to me. I couldn’t pinpoint it…

Sept 21, 2015: (dun dun dunnnnnnn) We went in that morning, not knowing what to expect. When they called me back to the room, I was practically shaking.

I put my feet in the stirrups while the ultra sound tech (nurse? I don’t know) asked me a million questions to try to make me feel more comfortable. It wasn’t working, by the way. Brandon sat down in the seat beside me, his eyes wide and glued to the ultra sound wand in fear, probably thanking God he was born a man.

“What’s your date of birth?”
“How far along are you?”
“What’s your estimated due date?”
As she gets the equipment ready, she starts asking things like “how did you meet?”, “is this your first baby?”

I couldn’t tell what the hell she was looking at in there, I wasn’t too familiar with ultrasounds but I had seen enough to know that there was something weird happening in here. She was going back and forth between two points in particular..

“So, did you do this naturally?”

What? Wait, what? Oh SHIT.

I knew right away why she was asking that. You know that saying “my life flashed before my eyes”? Yeah, that happened to me in this moment. Time stopped dead in its tracks while I thought of the moment back in June when Jamie’s husband Chris told me he had a feeling I would be the one of the group to end up with twin girls. I thought of the moment of when my pregnancy test came up positive IMMEDIATELY. Two minute wait? I knew within 30 seconds. I thought of the moment when my blood work came back insanely high for the gestational age we had been thinking I was at.

OH my God. Oh my GOD.

I looked at Brandon who was sitting there smiling at the ultrasound like he had any idea what was happening. Clearly, he had not caught on to what I had.

“What?” I asked
“Did you do this without IVF?”
“Yes, we did, why…”
“Because here’s baby 1”
Oh my god. No. No.
“and here’s baby 2”

unnamed

I’m literally having anxiety again just thinking about it hahah

I started laughing so hard that she was having a hard time looking at the sacs. This could not be happening. I looked back to Brandon who was crying tears of pure joy with his head in his hands. He just looked at me in shock. I think we were both just thankful in that moment that she stopped counting at two (shout out to the triplet, quad, quint moms. Y’all the real MVPs). I told him to go get Brittany (our nurse/friend) who was waiting in the other room in case of an emergency. This was indeed, an emergency. He walked out to her and told her to come in, apparently unable to say much else which left her thinking something terrible was happening. She came in to look at the ultrasound and said “what am I looking at here?”

“THERES TWO. THERES TWO IN THERE” I yelled.
She gasped for air while she cried too. Truly unbelievable that this was happening but also, not.

She played their little heartbeats while I tried to gather my thoughts.

Two? How the hell did this happen? Two babies? Double of everything? I hadn’t even accepted the concept of one yet! Damn my overachieving ovaries!

I called my mom immediately. TWINS. There are TWO. She started cracking up and squealed with excitement. “It’ll be SO GREAT!” she said. I hope she meant it would be great as in, she was footing the college bills for them.

That was the day that changed my entire life. Sure, finding out I was pregnant was pretty life altering but now, we had to prepare our life for two little babies. Adulting had to happen, and now. I had been putting it off for a little bit but there was no more time to waste. I had been looking forward to drinking again after the baby was born, going out with the girls and having a good time. Brandon would be able to handle a baby solo while I slept off my hangovers, no problem. My friends would be able to babysit one baby while Brandon and I went out like normal human beings, no problem. We would be able to afford all of the things for one baby, no problem. My parents would be able to watch the baby while we went away on a vacation, no problem. Two threw a wrench into all of those plans, immediately. I was going to have to wait until they were at least feeding themselves before I could in, good conscious, ask one person to handle two of my offspring at one time. People told me how jealous they were (still do, to which I offer babysitting hours) and all I could think was how absolutely ridiculous that sounded (still is). Jealous of two babies? MMKAY. There was no way we would be able to pull this one off. The thought was completely overwhelming to me and lasted until the day I heard them cry for the first time. After that, I knew there was no way we wouldn’t be able to handle this. Some Most days I forget that and end up telling the boys that I made them so I can sell them if they don’t start acting right but for the most part, I really, really love them.

It’s insane to look back just one year and see how much has changed. We survived a pregnancy from hell, c-section adventures and NICU graduations. We have not only survived but almost thrived through 5 and a half months of breastfeeding/pumping , no sleep and what feels like 24/7 of diaper changes and begging them to sleep, even just for a little bit. I’m definitely not a pinterest mom but we have made it through what we feel is torture without any major breakdowns from mommy and daddy. We get through by laughing, a lot and making fun of the boys, a lot. It’s been the worst and the best all at the same time but I still always want to type #blessed when I’m talking about them so it must not be that bad (sike. It really, really is). I can’t wait to look back in another year to see how much has changed. Hopefully by then, we will be well on our way to sports scholarships and NFL dreams. Hey, we can dream, right?

I’m writing this a bit earlier than the 21st because tomorrow, on our actual twin-aversary, we will be off on a 10 hour road trip to Michigan with the 5 month olds, Grammy and Grampy. What are we thinking? I have no idea. The real question is, is it inapro to bring a flask in the car with me?

Blog post to come… if I survive.

Wish me luck..

 

2 thoughts on “Sept 21, 2015

  1. Sara says:

    My twins are 8 months (born in March 2016) and I’m so glad to have found your blog through scary mommy. I have laughed and cried while reading a few of your entries tonight. I just told my husband – this woman is blogging our life! Thank you thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

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