I’m not sure what’s been happening lately but I feel like I can’t get a word out to answer ASKED questions about my babes without someone giving me the eyes that say ‘you’re messing up your kids’. I’m not just talking other moms here (although they rank high on the judgmental list) but even women without kids have been caught throwing massive shade my way. I’m talking to you, woman who called me ‘bad mommy’ for sending my kids to daycare.
I was pregnant at the end of August 2015 and ever since then, I’ve been told that anything I’m planning to do/doing is 100% incorrect. In fact, I’m finding that it’s a miracle my children have even survived this long.
“You’re breastfeeding? Why would you even try with twins?”
“You’re okay with giving them formula? Don’t you know breast is best? They will never reach their full potential in life.”
“Oh. You pump and then give them a bottle? YOU GAVE THEM PACIFIERS? They will never take the breast now, nipple confusion is real”
“YOU RE-USE BREASTMILK? OH NO NO NO”
Okay, um, I didn’t say I was giving them drugs, I said I was feeding them breast milk or a breast milk alternative. News flash: I’m keeping not one, but two babies growing (by pumping food for them every 2-3 hours), clothed, bathed and smiling (for the most part). I’m making sure my, not one, not two, but three dogs are not being completely neglected and making sure my husband is fed (on most nights). I work two jobs and take continuing education classes (I like to learn #nerd) and somewhere in between all of this, sometimes find time to shower and feed myself. I’m not saying all of this from a 10′ tall horse, I’m just saying I’m going to do what-ev-er I have to to keep my life simple and moving along even if that means they had pacifiers before they got a strong latch to my body. EVEN if it means I’m putting the 6 oz. of breastmilk that I just heated up (that they suddenly decided they don’t want anymore) back in the fridge because it’s one less feeding I have to prepare later. I have finally gotten to the point where I have stocked my freezer full of milk so that my boys can drink it until they are 18 (calm down, I know it doesn’t last that long) but if they are at Grammy’s house and they run out of milk while they are there, they are going to drink formula and they are going to be JUST FINE. Fed is best, peeps. Some twin mommies tandem feed exclusively, I know, and that’s REALLY impressive but it’s not for me. Just like keeping your opinion to yourself doesn’t seem to be for you. *hair flip*
“You sent the boys to daycare? Bad mommy!”
Look, being a stay at home mom is TRULY a super power. A super power I was NOT born with. I tried it and I tried hard to be good at it but I’m not cut out for it, especially with my high maintenance children. I find myself excited to see them after work now instead of wishing my time away with them during the day. It’s better for me and better for them to have a fresh mommy who doesn’t need to drink wine at noon to make it through the day.
Or as I like to call it, napping. Now, I can’t really speak on this subject too much lately because my husband has recently decided that because I make their food, he can take over the night work (#blessed). Really, I think it’s because I sleep SO hard, he knows I won’t wake up to take care of them anyway. You know how first time moms say they don’t sleep on the first night the baby is home? Yeah, not me. Brandon was the one holding babies all night, frantically checking their breathing while I was PASSED OUT. In my defense, I was still recovering from being sliced open like sushi and having them Lion Kinged out of me. Everything I do here is wrong anyway though so I might as well get my sleep in! Let them fall asleep on their bellies and then roll them over? Wrong. Let them fall asleep in the swing and then move them to their cribs? Wrong. Let them sleep in their rock and plays? Wrong. Rock them to sleep and then put them down? Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. I get it, I’m wrong. I’ve just started telling people that they are sleeping through the night, in fact, they are the BEST sleepers EVER. That way, I never have to get into what I’ve tried (everything) and haven’t tried (nothing) to get these little jerks to sleep. Side note: they’ve actually been much better. Side note pt 2: they will be awful tonight because I said that.
I wish people would judge me for the things they should actually judge me for, you know, like never having my hair brushed or makeup done, never wearing clean clothes, or the fact that I’m holding on TIGHT to my baby weight. My smell isn’t bothering you but the fact that I sometimes feed my kids reheated breast milk does? Okkaaaayyyyy. I swear I love my kids more than life itself and I’m not going to do anything to hurt them. I’m just doing what works for me over here and if that’s not how you would do it, cool. If you want to come be my free live-in nanny, I’ll gladly accept you raising my kids as you see fit. Until then, don’t ask me questions just to judge me for my answers. *double hair flip*
Anyway, enough ranting/seeming like a cynical psycho for today, I need to go finish off all of the oreos and ice cream in the house so I can start my diet tomorrow.
Wish me luck.